Butterflies
by YamiTami
Summary: Mei Ling has to take active part in a mission with Meryl. She's worried about choking in more ways than one. //homosexuality because the only way I'll get to read good yuri is if I write it, apparently//


**Since people are still interested in my fics over here and FFN has fixed a couple (but not near all) of the issues it's been having, I'll start posting my stories here again. This is really against my better judgment and if they screw up so that dashes disappear or the ads somehow get more annoying, then I'm not coming back. It's bad enough they still don't allow tildies for no apparent reason.**

**I'm posting this in chapter one of all my stories so everyone knows where I can be found. See my profile for the link to my homepage.**

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Mei Ling was starting to get annoyed with herself and her own illogical apprehension. Worried about the task at hand was one this, but this...

_It's all for the mission,_ she chanted in her head. _I'm a grown woman and this is a necessary step in the mission. It doesn't __**mean**__ anything._

The argument was less than convincing. Not when her partner for the mission was sitting right there next to her in awkward silence, broken only by the cab driver's low and uneven humming. Not only were there the butterflies brought on by actively participating in the field work, but those of a much more personal and pleasant nature. It was all concerning her friend, her companion, the person she'd be dancing with, close, in the name of the mission. Someone she'd have to _share a hotel room_ with after it was all said and done. A very _small_ hotel room.

She found she couldn't access the calming wisdom of her quotations. To many fluttering butterflies making her stomach churn, too much of a distraction sitting _right there_.

It didn't help that her companion had _no_ sense of personal modesty. When they got back to home base she'd probably strip in the middle of the room before diving into the shower. True, she hadn't done that after the first time when she mistook Mei Ling's crimson blush for a strict Chinese upbringing, but the image of sweat-slicked skin appeared and could not be ignored. Mei Ling suppressed the urge to bury her face in her hands and scream.

"We heah, gals," the cabbie announced as they slowed to a halt. The mangled words made the young inventor wince, as did the pounding bass line that could be felt even half a block away. Electronic music with a heartbeat had never been her thing.

"Come on, _June!_" her companion said as she nudged the brunette. The use of her codename reminded Mei Ling that they were on the clock. She couldn't mess this up just because of a few butterflies.

So she swallowed hard and slid out of the cab as her friend paid the driver, putting on the face of a girl who couldn't wait to get inside all that noise and commotion and people stepping on your feet. _Maybe my distaste for the music will help distract me,_ she hoped. _Maybe I'll be so distracted that I won't even notice the way this is making my skin tingle._

"Ready?"

Spoken loud, excited, with a hint of a drawl implying that the answer was obviously 'hell yes.' However, Mei Ling knew there was a real question under the cover. Was she ready? Could she do this?

_People are depending on us._

She squeezed her companion's waist in a half-hug, taking strength from her friend even as it made her weak in the knees. She was just a pretty thing to look at, after all, only a diversion. Even with her brain shorted out, she could do that.

Then Mei Ling made the mistake of looking up at her friend's face.

The genuine enthusiasm and interest were evident. It was clear that the distaste for pounding music was the brunette's alone. She suppressed the urge to whine.

Meryl was _striking_ when she was excited.

~~*~~

Mei Ling got a few double-takes when she slid up to the bar, and despite her nervousness she felt the slight glow of pride. She hadn't even started being a shameless flirt and people were already staring. It probably helped that her gray pleated skirt was as short as possible and her white blouse was unbuttoned to her bra. The look was completed with a loosely knotted tie and dance-proof penny loafers, as well as knee high white socks that required constant adjusting. Her hair was dyed from mahogany to black and pulled up in her usual ponytail. Contacts, just for that night, took her eyes from dark brown to pure coal. She was confident that her description would be nothing more than 'cute Asian schoolgirl' if anyone was questioned.

"Oh, honey!" She called out to the bartender. Thankfully the bar was behind some soundproof panels so the music wasn't overly deafening and her small voice could still be heard. He walked over, stereotypically cleaning a glass and trying very hard to look like he _wasn't_ checking her out. "Would you be a sweetheart and get me a bottle of cold water?"

She looked through her eyelashes at him for good measure. The water was in her hand in seconds, and he even looked like he was considering not making her pay for it. She barely had the cap off before the men in her immediate vicinity started offering to buy her something a little stronger. Oh yeah, she was good.

Considering the shady nature of the business conducted in the basement, it was no surprise that it took no time at all for the creeps to start flocking in. The first was easily deflected, but the second refused to be turned away. From the way the other patrons pointedly did not look, this was not a man to be tangled with and therefore likely one of the goons.

Even though it was part of the script, she was still fantastically uncomfortable when he leered at her. Even though she knew it was the plan, she still felt an overwhelming sense of 'my hero!' when his hand was removed from her arm.

Meryl was dressed as bulldyke as possible, with a touch of dominatrix. Black tank top, black combat boots, a pair of black leather pants that they attacked to make them look worn, and some arm warmers with more black leather, fishnet, and silver buckles. She put a very possessive arm around Mei Ling's waist and ignored the man she just removed from the inventor's person.

"Where'd you go, June?" she asked, her eyes bright. Mei Ling offered her the water bottle and tried to squash the immature thoughts about indirect kissing as Meryl took a swig.

"You know I always find the bar first!" _June_ replied with a touch of giggle, still playing her part of a less than intelligent bisexual flirt. "Enjoy the dance floor?"

"I'd like it better if--"

"_Hey._"

Oh, right, the determined creep. She almost forgot about him.

"What do you think you're doing with _my_ pretty little schoolgirl?" Mei Ling tried very hard to only look annoyed and not outright gag at the possessive pronoun. Scary goons with tooth problems were the anti-turn on.

"Buster, you're not even worth the fight," the soldier replied with a roll of her eyes. "I know my baby, and she's not even dancing with _you_."

Mei Ling wondered if Meryl knew she was stroking the patch of skin between shirt and skirt.

"Come on, Jean," she said, sliding off the barstool. "Let's just go dance."

"Hmph," the creep grumped as he waved over the bartender, accepting defeat. "Jean 'n June, how _cute_." And then there was probably something insulting but the two women had already crossed the sound barrier into the dance floor.

~~*~~

She didn't know how many songs it had been; they all sounded the same. It was long enough that she stopped trying to pull up her socks, resigning herself to the slouch-sock anime look. The only certainty was that she couldn't take this _energy_ from Meryl for much longer. There was no act in the way the soldier moved, the way she smiled and laughed in time with the rhythm. Meryl was having the time of her life and it was so hard not to get swept away when those smiling lips were breathing hot breath on the brunette's neck and ear. Thankfully, the annoying techno kept her focused enough to remember that they were still in the middle of a mission. She couldn't lose it in the middle of the dance floor.

Finally, Meryl decided it had been long enough and led Mei Ling off the dance floor. The skirted the perimeter, passed speakers which nearly burst her eardrums, and eventually found a little nook by an 'employees only' door. Meryl pressed the shorter girl against the wall and scanned the crowd before kissing her cheek and pulling her through the door. No, her skin did _not_ tingle, thank you very much.

Thankfully the other side of the door was more mission affirming. Once the inventor started looking at the wires that were sloppily attached to the ceiling she could forget how good the red-head looked in leather. It took her no time at all to find the servers at the end of a short hallway. She found a place in the mess of wires to hook up a transmitter, mumbling about fire hazards and travesties to hardware the whole time. The transmitter would serve as both a homing beacon so they could follow the servers to their permanent location and give Philanthropy easier access to the information.

She wondered, briefly, how Snake and Otacon's mission was going. In many ways it was a good thing they couldn't take this one; they couldn't really use this, the safe approach, since gay guys are less accepted than lesbians. There'd be more suspicious glares sent their way, though at least they could actually kiss and not look awkward about it. She almost laughed at the thought of Solid Snake waving glow sticks.

She stood and nodded to Meryl, who was keeping watch by the door. The soldier cautiously slid out of the room, lithe and powerful, and then motioned for Mei Ling to follow. She _just_ finished relocking the door when the music suddenly got louder. They shared an alarmed look; someone just came through 'employees only' and there was _no place to hide_. The butterflies suddenly grew razor wings and seethed in the inventor's stomach. She felt panicky and almost like throwing up and maybe it was a good thing she never became a fighter pilot after all...

Luckily, this was still Meryl's dance. She kept her wits and did the only thing that could have saved them. She pinned Mei Ling to the door, pushed the shirt up to reveal a slim stomach, and leaned in close. The brunette regained enough presence of mind to do _something_ with her hands, hooking her thumbs in leather belt loops and pulling the soldier even closer.

She closed her eyes as their lips collided.

They discussed it, they planned for this, and they decided that utilizing the power of hot girls making out was their best bet for survival in such a situation. They even rehearsed it, starting with tentative and working their way up to tongues. It was blush worthy, but it was still awkward and stiff and forced.

This was _not_. It was hot and passionate and _beyond_ sexy. Mei Ling melted, all that weak-in-the-knees hitting her at once. She shifted, slid her arms around the red-head's neck and better angled herself into the kiss. A calloused hand, worn by guns and sparring and scaling buildings, dragged across her pale skin, tracing her spine before coming to rest on the hooks of her bra. She pressed herself almost desperately against the other woman. She could have sworn she heard a 'mph' that might have been an infant moan.

Then there was a loud banging sound and the inventor truly understood the phrase 'you gave me a heart attack.'

The one goon was just staring with the drop jawed 'huh huh' wonder that a lot of straight guys seemed to have when it came to a pair of girls kissing. The other was, of course, the same creep who wouldn't leave her alone at the bar. He was looking them with a wariness that said he suspected they weren't just there to dance.

Mei Ling found she was literally speechless, gaping like a fish. The soldier tugged her shirt down, which was pushed up far enough to expose the white lacy bra she was wearing and she suddenly felt so exposed. What would happen if she was captured when she was dressed like _this_? She tightened her grip and buried her face in the red-head's neck.

"Yeah, two girls necking. You never see this before?" Meryl barked.

A pause. Creep spoke. "What's wrong with her?"

Strong arms tightened protectively around her. "She's not an exhibitionist."

Another pause. "Shameless flirt that don't deliver?"

She felt Meryl sigh. "Look, I know we're not supposed to be back here. We'll leave, 'kay?"

Even with the music still pounding away in the background, the silence was deafening.

"Heh," came the verdict. Mei Ling risked a glance and saw that he was making an 'after you' gesture towards the dance floor. His face was more eye-rolling than suspicious, with a hint of disappointment. Probably wanted to watch some more. Her stomach churned.

Meryl walked past them, possessive arm still pulling the brunette close. Mei Ling stayed glued to the soldier's side, beyond trying to keep up the act of being June. She couldn't pull the fear back down to annoyed, not even on the surface. She was just a scared tech who never should have dreamed of being a fighter.

~~*~~

On the ride back they barely spoke. They stopped by a convenience store near the hotel to pick up some antacids for Mei Ling's persistent nausea. Meryl also grabbed a couple pints of some decadently chocolate ice cream, and as soon as they were back at the room she made Mei Ling sit down and handed her a spoon. She wasn't sure about eating rich dairy products on an upset stomach, but after a couple bites she did start feeling better. Meryl sat on the floor next to her and worked on her own pint. Mei Ling finished hers first, mumbling that she was going to grab the shower first as she stood. She needed to scrub it all off her skin, the stuffy dance floor and the creepy guy's hand and Meryl's lips.

She just finished screwing the caps on her contacts' case when Meryl knocked on the doorframe in greeting. She wrapped her arms around the brunette's shoulders and pulled her into a backwards hug.

"I'm sorry you had to do this," Meryl said, pressing her cheek against dark hair. Her voice was full of regret.

"No... it's okay," the inventor replied, trying to ignore how nice it felt to be hugged like that. "It was for the mission... it had to happen."

"I'm not saying it could have been any different. I'm just sorry you had to do it."

Without her contacts, Mei Ling couldn't read the soldier's face in the mirror. She didn't know what to say. She imagined she could feel Meryl's heartbeat against her back. She felt so much better about everything, standing with her friend like that.

"Meryl..." she twisted, turned her head to look at the other woman. She didn't know what she wanted to ask but whatever it was evaporated. The soldier's expression was soft and caring, heavy-lidded, and then there were lips pressed against hers.

They never got past chaste. Mei Ling suddenly remembered reality. She pulled away and moved into the main room, pacing nervously. She couldn't make out anything other than a blur at that distance, but she knew Meryl had to be worried, maybe even hurt. But she couldn't. She just couldn't.

"It's a bad idea," she explained, trying to gather her scattered thoughts. "It's just a bad idea. You'll comfort me and I might feel better but I'll get attached. Let's face it; it's been forever since I've had a girlfriend in any capacity. I won't be able to take it when you go so let's just not--"

"Whoa, wait, what makes you think I'm going anywhere?"

"You won't mean it, no." She wrung her hands as she paced, desperate to make the red-head understand. "But we'll get to that point, where it goes past little kisses and the clothes come off and it just won't turn you on. _I_ won't turn you on."

"Mei Ling, stuff like that doesn't--"

"Yes it does!" She threw her hands in the air, a long nursed annoyance rushing to the surface. "Everyone always says that gender doesn't matter if you love someone, but let me tell you, sometimes it does!"

"What?"

"I had a huge crush on this guy in one of my physics classes in college. He was nice and funny and he respected me and my ambitions, so I thought that maybe I wasn't totally gay. At least, I could be bi for Johnny."

She collapsed on the bed. Even years later, she still hated herself for it.

"I couldn't. I just couldn't. At first it seemed like I would get over the bad kind of butterflies when he kissed me, and I did for a while, but when it got serious... I could get lost in the moment but afterwards it still felt _wrong_. I broke it off. We didn't stay friends."

"Mei Ling..."

Tears were falling. "The heat of the moment back at the club doesn't count. Before, when we were practicing for that possibility, it was so forced. I'm not going to force you into anything."

"Oh, Mei."

The soldier was kneeling in front of her, wiping away her tears.

"Please look at me."

Meryl was just inside Mei Ling's pitiful non-blurry range. She looked worried and sad and hopeful. Slowly, giving the brunette plenty of opportunity to push her away, she leaned in close. Mei Ling didn't have the strength to fight it.

This kiss was sweet, and gentle, and so _nice_ it hurt. After a few seconds Mei Ling turned away.

"What if... what if that gave me the right kind of butterflies?"

She looked back in disbelief, but genuine affection and honesty were in Meryl's eyes. The soldier leaned in again, and this time Mei Ling didn't break away. When they pulled back for breath, the red-head's eyes were still bright.

"What..." Mei Ling swallowed hard. "What about Philanthropy? Won't this..."

Meryl surprised her with a laugh. "Snake and Otacon do their jobs all right. You really think we can't be like them?"

There was a deeper question in that. When Otacon came to give them the details for this mission the two girls nagged him until he caved. He said that it started as just a physical release, just sex, but over the months and years something else bloomed.

_Could we end up like that? In love?_

Mei Ling shyly considered the other woman.

_I think I like our odds_.

She tackled Meryl to the ground and kissed her breathless.


End file.
